Running to win the race

2011-03-02T07:14:00.000-08:00

how can you feel what i possibly feel?

to feel like you are the only one believing in something...

when there is not a single soul who supports just a little..

being criticized...

misunderstood at all times...

to think that you are a freak of all kinds...

to be hated..

to be ignored...

what do you understand...

but.... i will live on, continue believing on the importance of lost souls...

who would understand?

lost souls....

only till one dies then they finally knows the truth...

it's too late it's too late...

i'd rather be a freak for lost souls to be saved, than to have acceptance in the society...

calm

2010-12-13T21:11:00.000-08:00

this few weeks was tough.
i literally do not know what to do.
i'm feeling so lost.
i have not been attentive in church and felt like a stanger there at times.

all i pray was, that God will help me and save me.
everything that happened seems dull to me.
whenever someone tells me how good or how great God was, i just stared at them and remembered how i used to be that. praising God.

i feel so empty. just looking at people christians trying to find a reason to excuse myself from being to distant from God and everything that relates to Him.

it has been quite some time since i talk to him like i always do. i feel so empty. how did i became like this and why did i allow it to happen?
how could i. wanting to just let go of the fire that i once posseses and hold so dearly and to keep it burning. i am just at the end of the clift. wondering if this is really the end? nothing seems to be an evidence or fact that i still can turn around and find a way or direction to take.

i often stared in blank. feeling absolutly nothing thinking if God is angry, sad or dissapointed.

i look at my hands and try looking for something to give, but i found nothing. i realise i have nothing to offer. nothing.

just last night, i was just reading a book, trying to keep myself entertain. thinking how will i still go to camp with an unwilling heart. i switch the channel to see if there is ay show to watch before i put myself to sleep. fireproof was showing on tv.

while i was watching the show, i felt really sur-real as the show was literally an effort of reconciling a person to God. the feeling that it gave me. i felt a penetration through my heart. the penetration of warmth and love and life. i cant deny the Love that was demostrated in the show. while i had denied all other that i had intentionally avoided. Maybe the show was for people like me. trying to hide every single hint or discomfort or emotion, constantly rejecting every single thing that could make my heart weak.

as caleb was trying to save his marriage, he learns the meaning of love, trying to be faithfull, while he struggled to change and love his wife. he asked his father a queatined. which was, how can he love a person who constantly recjects him.(he meant his wife) but then he realises of the same love that was given by christ.

i was just speechless, as it pierced to my heart and mind that someone selfish and heart hardened could change and later unconditionally love. he took an effort to change it was not easy though. but it sure worth the try to feel love and to love unselfishly.

it really given me hope, as he might not get his marriage safe but he ontinue to love and protects his wife although she continues to sign the letters of divorce. He does and give all that he should and could to get her. he reminds and demonstrated the same love that christ have given to us. that when we were yet sinners, he died on the cross for us.

i want more!

2010-09-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

I want to do more for God...
do what?
whatever he has for me
i hate the feeling of being embarrass when it come to, i want to serve God!
is so hard for me when people keep judging me
who are they to judge me?
to even ask my church leader of what I'm doing??
what is this?? is so so so hard to forgive...!!
I'm a person who will go straight up to you to set things right even if it is in the middle of the night!
dont piss me off!!
however i believe this will be settled and i can move on to live a bold and victorious life. to live this life for God.

dreams

2010-05-29T23:03:00.001-07:00

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreamin' of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

kelly.c

the new story begins

2010-05-29T22:33:00.000-07:00

30Th may 2010
today is the first day of the pressure that i have felt for a change and to live the talk.
i begin to see the ingratitude that i have lived, in many years.
i always have a heart for doing things the right way which is very uncomfortable to be seen by others.
people around me will tell me to chill, and always questioning my intense attitude.
now i realise that is true i cant change the way i am. and i really want to make a difference in my generation and in my parent's eye and most of all, in God's eye.
the decision i make can be very hypocrite, at this moment i can convince to people that this is ok, but when things are really bad, that is when i know i have to surrender and submit to him. His ways are always going to be higher and wiser than mine. Even if i have to lower myself down and say "God, i am nothing and have done nothing great in your eyes and your ways are always better" i will. i have too long been living in a life of slavery to the people around me keeping and hiding when i should have done what is right. i cant contain it in anymore. i have to show and bring out the best in life. no more hiding, no more fearing. i just need to live the talk. no more fears!!! God is great

specal dream

2009-12-26T06:09:00.002-08:00

On 14 November 2005
I slept at 2am...
The dream starts....
I was in my house. But the house was different from where i was living.
It was a scary and anxious moment as my family and I were running for shelter. (why?)
When i reached to door of my house, it was too late. In front of me was already the tornado. I was so scared and did not know what to do so I just closed my eyes and embrace myself.
However.... when I opened my eyes, I was still there, whew...
Then I continue to run, the sky was dark and storms is yet to come
In this scene, I was at the fields, my family and other people was also there running away to shelter.
Then I heard a woman whom is shouting letting everyone know that there will be two tornados hitting the town. Then the second tornado came, again it hit me but when I opened my eyes I was fine.
I continued to run for shelter. When I reached the shelter, I was amazed because the shelter was really nice. It was like a 5 star hotel. There was TV, bed, expensive lamps. The color and design was really nice. It is similar to this but it was built in the hills.

However, before we even know it, the 5 tornadoes already hit the town.
In a blink of an eye, we were in a train. Hoping to escape the place the train has started to move. Then a loud noise from the crowd, were shouting, heads putting out of the window. Everyone who looked saw this blue GEL like, kind of thing were flowing and covering the back section of the train. Right after that, the train was shaking hard something must have hit the train. Everyone inside that were about to get hurt, badly.

Surprisingly, again in a blink of an eye everything was fine. Furthermore, the train turn into a nice classic train with nice wooden window which can be opened, painted in maroon color. The design of the train is so comfortable, the chairs are soft and lathered material, and a table provided. The surrounding was badge with orange lighting as if were in a high classed restaurant. Everything was so bright so calm.

Everyone opened their windows and find that just outside the window was arranged tables full of all kinds of jewelries such as pearls, crystals, diamond, Sapphire, all of them that is found recognize and unrecognized and there is a train long of the tables of jewelries or perhaps longer. I took some of the jewelry and put it into my pocket...XD then I wanted to put it back, before I did they told us that these jewelries are all for us. And the train stopped, when the train stopped right in front of me was a guy standing. And I woke up. That’s the end.

2009-12-26T06:09:00.001-08:00

this is something to be thankfull

2009-07-30T04:55:00.000-07:00

most of the thing that happen to me is not a choice i make..
I'm glad and thankful although things dun go the way i want...
I'm really thankful that in this course i had given the opportunity to learn and further discover what I'm capable of although is just simple task...
although many decisions made was not what i chose but i know that every thing happen is to make me stronger and more independent and is an apportunity given.So i'll take my chances and appreciate it.

truth about me ..

2009-07-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

1 .when i was standard 3 i hit my friend till she cries...
2 .when i was standard 4 i boss my friend around and slap her coz she dare me to..
3 .when i was standard 5 i told lie to my teacher and mom so that i could escape from my tuition.
4 .when i was standard six noting much coz i finally came to my senses that all these is bad.
5 .when i was form 1 i yell at a poor old teacher becoz she hit me with a newpaper and my friend threw paper at her and she hit me..
6 . form 2 i went on relationship without telling my mom thank God
7 .form 3 nothing much...
8 .form 4 nothing much...
9 .form 5 BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD skipped tuition ....

k this is the bad bout me...i am really greatfull that God would love me...thank you God..alot of these things i would not do any more...i apolagise...this is me...my life is amazing...God guide me every step i chose to take with Him.i'm telling you this so that when you see me you also see every part of me...God says whoever worship him must worship HIm in spirit and in truth...so here it is i dun 1 2 hide..lately there is a friend who dint came to youth and would not want to come to youth becoz of hypocricy well i cant change my youth and there will always be becoz church is where people get to know God people like the lost, the sad, the tired, the happy, the naughty, the inocent God is for everyone..Jesus died for everyone...he dint say oni for the great or good or oni the sad but for all... thank you father for loving me.. so now when i worship him i can worship him in spirit and in truth..

mists of nothing but great is the love that never ends..

2009-06-01T02:45:00.000-07:00

It is an unfamiliar being...
It is a world of another...
Crashes together with a world owned...
It sewed a heart with weakness and tears..
Influenced deeply without hesitating,
stirred like an endless dance,
It is holding tight...
With trust and faith...

Blindly, as it chose to see,
It moved in the dark, with awareness of nothing...
It Crashes to the impact of loneliness...
Blindly as it moves, hoping to find a hand of it's desires
Aware of the existence of it's desire,
and the passion to hold and feel it's sentimental intimacy,
Invincible as it is no where to be found,
It lets go with the overwhelming unsatisfying choice it makes,

It is then, it realises the birth of it's desire
born by the creator of body, mind and soul...

It then returns...
to Once again choose to live as it was,
when innocence hold a part of it soul,
Till it's desire of mysteries appear,
With one world that only the ultimate can satisfy,
The everlasting love that never stop,
amazingly no one can see...but everyone yearns...

ps: though... yearnign without beliving ???

a fogtten prayer..

2009-04-20T06:33:00.000-07:00

GOD is very amazing....

as most of my close friends know i had became anti social,lack of confidence in myself,

i di not even dared to go to the canteen to buy food even till now i would have to hold my heart to buy food....

well this is because i had experience loneliness which is not an unfamiliar word to most ppl

besides that betrayal,hurt,sadness....and most of all lost of friendship...

my life crush here at this word,friendship...

at that time i was very lonely,"the oni person that i can to talk to was GOD..."

every night i would cry myself to sleep...asking God to give me a better life...

and i came to know HIM..

personally...

and so i went to church camp...

to seek Him even more...

and honestly just to hang out with friends...

but true enough somehow I'm touched by simple teaching ...

and so i made this prayer..that one day all my friends would come to know him and serve Him as a family....

it was about 4 years ago...

and today....

we are in the same church...my best friends the my enemy..are my friends now..

and an answered prayer we are all in 1 church and all happy...

God is great....

the time my life really starts

2009-04-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

i will never forget the time when we were brought together as a family...

from strangers to aquantences to friends to best friends to family...the songs we sang is not just a song but a confession a desire & honour the serve you and to stand in the gap.....heheheh

so happy...

holding on with faith and hope...

2009-02-26T17:53:00.000-08:00

hospitality...

it is so not an easy course for me...

i am just struggling through it...

i also often ask myself why am i in this course...

what am i doing here...

i love arts

i love prformancing arts...

i love music...

although i do not know any musical instrument...xD

yup, i feel like I'm gonna e run over by a train and had no power over it....

however, in all my troubles...

i praise GOD that e is been with me through this course...

I'm so thank full that he gave me friends that encouraged me...

at times i feel like there is no hope i would pray and ask GOD for help...

i thought He did not answer me....

but as i see now...

He has done so much for me...

now that i think back I'm really thank full, i was having problems in one of my class....

i thought i would never make it....

but this is what i realise....that GOD is with me...

how?? through my friends...

through answered prayers.

as i go on...

obviously is not getting easier...but this is what I'll hold on too....

GOD has a purpose for me...

GOD owns my life...

GOD is mighty to save...

GOD will not give me something i could not handle..

though life is a mystery...i do not know where i will be heading....

but i shall not be worry...because my life is in the hands of the Creator of heaven and earth...

the creator of my life...

God pls continue to guide me...

forgive my doubts Lord...

thx for your mercies,for they are new every morning...

teach me Lord what i can only learn from you

i'll miss this...

2008-11-28T07:31:00.000-08:00

hehe..these are my two friends which are chosen for national service...hehe

filling up the forms...

hah mel!! i chaught you smiling....

hehe this is my friend she is chosen for national service...and she is practicing on me.??

see hoon hong snatching my phone to delete her pic...

hahaha....i just took a pic of her and she jump on me wei....

i belive these two girls are very special in GOD'S EYES..

so as they go for the service pls keep them in prayer k...

they are very special to me too.....

so as they go ..

i'll pray that "God will walk with you through joy and tears...

and have lots of fun yea...

in Jesus name amen..."

C.O.O.L youth!

2008-11-24T04:38:00.000-08:00

i would just like to tell you about our youth....

this is a picture of some of us in c.o.o.l youth..

i love C.O.O.L youth...

i think the most important thing in my youth is God's presence...

without God's presence...

C.O.O.L youth is nothing ....

God is love....

and it's said in 1 corinthians 13...

if i speak in the tongues of men and of angles,but have not

love,i am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.If i have

the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all

knoweledge,and if i have a faith that can move mountains,but

have not love,i am nothing.If i give all i possess to the poor and

surrender my body to the flames,but have not love,i gain

nothing...

i thank God that

our youth is filled with love from one another...

i thank God that they are not alike...

so that we could learn something from one another...

they are all very speacial in their own ways....

most of all is that they love God...

that each time we worship togather God's presence is there...

i praise God for that...

conclusion:without love everything is nothing...

pls correct me if there is any mistake in this..thx yar...

btw...C.o.o.l stands for

Christ Our Only Lord...

things can be nice...but wat it contains...??

2008-11-23T07:18:00.001-08:00

i like coffee

but unfortunately is bad for health...

in oder to take it without affecting my health is to take it at the corret amount...

nothing lar just 1 2 remind myself not to take too much coffee...

hahaha

shock sendiri....

sleeping overs at mel's place...

2008-11-23T06:28:00.001-08:00

that's me at the front...
that's them behind....

hey i just notice they taking pic without me....

wawawa.....

anyway i'm taking pic with them in it hahahaha >)

next time if got go mel house again just tag along k....

coz she say bring us go eat dim sum....

kekeke...

have fun!!!

tears...then...joy...

2008-11-23T06:23:00.000-08:00

after long sad big fat tears...
i finally came down to my senses that ...
i can never understand God ways...
at least not every of His ways...
but i learned and accept that God's plan is much more greater..
and better than me...
and his plans are always to prosper us not to harm us..
so nothing to worry about...
just looking at my friends bloggs...
hehehe >)
so funny of those pics....
cheered me up...so funny...
lol

Good dream =)

2008-11-22T11:46:00.001-08:00

i had a dream....
i dream i was running a race...
a race that is for God...
then,during the race...
i saw a guy ...
he was running the race too...
then we sat for an exam..
it's a test from God...
he gave us a situation...
and God ask me...
if i was in that situiation which verse i should write....??
then i wrote it...
and then Jesus and God was very happy...they welcome me and say welcome to heaven..

then i woke up...

after that i'm not sure was i conciouse or not..

the devil came in to my room and ask me..

where is Jesus....

i tried to rebuke the devil away in the name of Jesus it did not go...

then i finally replied,Jesus is living in me....

then it finally left my room...

whew what a dream...

then the next day i went to youth...

still wondering which verse that the Holy spirit has lead me in that test...

and then on that day pastor was teaching us about a verse the first command that God has command us to do,not the first of the ten commandment but the first coamnd...which is love your God with all your heart,soul,mind and strength..then it hit me ....that is how i knew...
how awsome it is rite...in such an intresting way that God can speak to us through diffrent ways...our God is truly an amazing God..

God's ideal...

2008-11-22T10:08:00.000-08:00

GOD’S IDEAL
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone

to have a deep soul relationship with another,

to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But God, says,“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being

loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me, with having

an intensely personal relationship with me alone,

discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of

the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be able to unite with another until you are united with Me,

exclusive of anyone or anything else,exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing,

and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,

one that you cannot imagine.

I want you to have the very best.

Please allow Me to bring it to you

.You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest thing,

keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM,

keep listening and learning the things I tell you,

you just wait, that’s all.

Don’t worry. Don’t be anxious.

Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or that I’ve given them.

Don’t look at the things you think you want.

You just keep looking at Me, or you’ll miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you’re ready,

I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream of.

You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,

(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time)

until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me,

and the life I prepared for you,

you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with

Me,

and thus the perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.

I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me,

and to enjoy materially and concretely,

the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love.

Know that I love you utterly.

I am God.

Believe it and be satisfied.”

Jesus Loves You!

i got this from a friend my friend got it from her friend......

confession......

2008-10-29T07:43:00.000-07:00

what am i actually going through....??
crazy world of mine......!!
just afraid of what the world is gonna ........
how can i carry on???
i did a mistake does not mean they have to say......
how can i carry on?!?!
my life...i never need to depend on any one...
maybe looks like it....
but no i dont....
i'm not afraid of being lonely...
i'm not afraid of moving on...
is just that does the people around me allows me to move on onot....
the depression i feel everytime .. looks at me with dissapointment...
i feel i have been cast to death...
the rejection i felt....
how can i carry on???
i want to carry on.....
i want to move foward....
i want to move foward....

i want to move foward....
God i beg youpls help me....
this judgement is condemning my life.....
help.......You know i never run from my problems i face it and solve it...right at that moment...
depressed....this is me secretive and i dun 1 any1 to brake it...if dun like..then leave me...

my mom...

2008-10-28T11:47:00.000-07:00

my mom...
my mom is not well educated...
because she is an adopted child...
i belive she dint have a happy child hood ...
but she has 2 loving step sisters which love her as their real sister..
sometime i look at them i cant and could not think they are step sisters ...
they are very close to each other and they have shown me although life is not perfect as long as we have each other to hold on to...
life is good...
she had show me that family is important...
although she is not well educated...
but i truly respect her...
for her effort to try to give her best to teach us and nurture us...
becoming a mom is not easy....
she has thought me to be strong...
although she is not well educated but she did not dispise herself
...she still odes the billing
...she takes care of the family
...she helps my dad to organise things
...she toook care of 5 person,cooking,cleaning,washing,ironing,folding, she is a secretary,mom,driver,chef....
i just could not imagine...
she has to think about so many things...
how she ever stand it??
yet we are giving her no rest..
not to mention being a middle person...
my dad and us...
how patient she is...
she want to give us what we want but she have to respect her husband...
and yet we disobey her...dint want to listen to her...
i really love my mom but i dint like to say it...i rather show it..than saying it..
i think my mom is actually smart..indirectly...
she does the organising..
she does cooking diffrent kind of dishes..
making our house a home which is clean and tidy so that my dad could have a nice place to rest...
look indirectly she had became the phsichiatrist...
she is also a teacher teaching us how to go through diffrent situation..
she is also a nurse taking careof us when we are sick...
see so who say homewoman are useless??
my mom is one and i think she is great..

...

2008-10-28T06:26:00.000-07:00

i dont see spirits when i'm young but i can feel them....
it never fail...
untill it came into my room...
anyway who cares...
God is my shelter...
my dad just pray to buddhist gods...
not demons i guess...they are just statues....done feels great to get it out my chest...
b4 i go nuts...
anyway....i think i only saw angels 1ce...in my parents room...they are as tall as my toilet door..and all i heard them say is ... "this 1 has just began...there is along way to go"
wondering wat that means??
i hope everything that happens to me is not shock sendiri....

really lost..

2008-10-28T05:54:00.000-07:00

i'm lost now...
after spm..i'm going to college...
after my chourse for about 4 years...
i'm going to work...
do not know how far i'm going to go ....
before i'm going to settle down...
i dunno where will i be 4 years from now or 8 or 10....
i have to put everything down....
now my heart is filld with worries....
i have to stop this...
i want to move on but do not know the reason of holding it back....
maybe i'm just a fraid of the future....
it's maybe a trap for me...or maybe my faith will bring me to my happy ending....
all i can do now is pray that God will lead my life...
i choose my carrer 1st...
settling down is not wha i want...
i want to have a successfull carrer...i hope every1 can support me...
i am afraid....
i need the Lord...
i dun feel save without my Lord with me...i just want this to be clear...God help me pls...

life = risk

2008-10-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

decision=2 out comes
out comes=1.love each other even more
2.forget bout one another
right decision=seems like the worst decision ever
bad decision=mejority will say it's right

Lord we need you like oxygen...

2008-09-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

God..
i realizes now that we need you alot....
is not that we are perfect therefore we need You..
nor we are happy that is why we are with You...
not with our own strength that we came to You...
is that in our weakness that we came to You...
with your help...we came to You..
but He said to me,My grace is all you need.My power is strongest when you are weak.. 2 corinthians 12:9
like me is because that i was lonely and scared but i called out your name and you were there for me...
i un derstand now why in our weakness we come to seek you...
i recall that i had been in few church before my current 1...
i did not want to go church ...
coz i dint realize i needed God...
although i was young but i recognized the calling of our dear God...
i just knew that i was young but each time some 1 tells me bout him
i can feel Love around from the teachers..
i was a lonely kid...
maybe i was maybe i was not..
but wat i feel is i'm very lonely...
i needed got very much ..
althiugh i was not christian then but i prayed to God...
as a catholik..
i prayed directly to God...
then i finally went to this church High Praise....
that tme i really am desperate to know God coz i'm becoming anti social..
hot tampered..and sad person..
honestly i really need God very much..
as i prayed and worship Him...
i learn of His love..and his mercy towards us...
i lernt that nobody is perfect...and cant expect 100% from them..
if i were to hold on to the things the people did to me i can never live happy..
i have to accept hem as who they are...Coz God accepted me as who i am..
if i were to keep my anger and hatret i would never lernt that they too can be my frinds ..
gues what ...
the poeople that used to hate me and i hate them i smy best friends now..
you probably think that is just maybe 'm friendly...but if you get to know me and my past you wont think it was easy..
so i just learnt to accept who they are..anyway if they are like that today they wont be lke that for the rest of their life rite??
so why do we 1 2 give up on the good par for something that wont last?? is such a waste i can assure you..my frind still hurt me till now but by God's help i can forgive them and look at this in other way if you made them angry will you want them to forgive you??
and sometimes you dint mean to do what you did ..is just so appens simply because we are just humans...so watever happens pray...dun let it just flow away coz it will turn to something special with God...God love us very much..so you should love others too...evry1 may let you down But GOD WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN....if you are sad run to God dun run away from Him..coz He will provide wat ever you need....we are just humans ...

being alone can be scared...

2008-09-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

err...
today feeling confused...
haiz forget to tell my friend i stay back today..
then i was alone at my tuition center for 1 hour....
i was afraid but got used to it...
i think i'm too though to rely on other people...
i cant cry out...i tried...
but some how...
i just realize that i cant be sad...
it's not my nature...
although....i know i am sad... but happiness is more nicer and better to be in....
hehe...

dun worry dear i love you k i wont give up so easily...
i never give up things unless i forget bout it or i myself let it go 100%ly
muacks muacks muacks....
i know i'm irritating so sorry for that...
><

what did i do...??

2008-09-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

i'm sorry i cant be perfect...
i never made anyone truly happy before...
sometimes i just feel frustrated ....
and cant help but to think that is my nature...
my nature to make others sad...
my nature to let everyone down...
i have lernt that if you 1 2 do something..
you relly can....
sometimes we all say it's their fault or parents fault ....
but some people can be so good while their surrounding is bad...
it's all up to us to see things at the positive way...
all my life is just has been rough....
i'm tired of being scolded or being dissapointed...
or causing others to be sad......
i'm sad too....
not to mention angry....
but yet....
look on the bright side....
my friend...told me "it's all my parents fault..."
but everone has problems too...
some of them may have the same reaction but yet there are some who still search for that hope and strength to carry on...
no one have no problems and no one's problem is smaller then the other...
so ...it's really up to us to decide life...
with every thing that is inside of me ...i wish you all happines and love...hope and courage...

love my friends...

2008-09-16T08:43:00.001-07:00

haha
i love all of you....
although you are can never be perfect ....
i guess i prefer to love you all as who you guys really are....
in fact it's not fun if every 1 is perfect and have the same characteristic...
some time we need some one who is funny and entertaining like hoon hong..
some times we need some one to understand us and stand on our side like bee jane..
some times we need to share problems wit others like melissa...
sometimes we need someone indipendant like mei foong....
sometimes we need someone who teaches us to fight for what we want yan yee...
sometimes we need someone who sees the world and draws it out mer inn....
sometimes we need someone to talk to which is yen mee...
he he see although they are not perfect and have all the characteristic but if just stick togather we are 1....and sure can help others so if we ever fight we will need each other to pull us togather....love all of you loads.....thank God for my friends if not my life will be boring and sad...

thrive on...

2008-08-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

hang on when you feel like giving up...
give more when you feel like giving none...
there can be miracles when you believe...
though hope is frail is hard to care...
things might not go your way...
and is easy to give i to fear...
but hang on...
who knows what miracles you can achieve...
each day you live try to give your very best...
you might be individual but you are not alone...
maybe your finest day is yet unknown...
precious things...is not easy to get...
but try your best don't give up...
give everything a chance...
if fail,give it 1 more try...
many things could have happened...
or had happened...
and it feels like everything is gone...
but there is hope...
just listen to your heart...
and let your dreams fly...
you have everything you need if you just believe...
just because eveything is changing...
does not mean it is never been this way before...
just get to know the people around you...
pick the brightest star in the sky and folow it...
you dont have to say goodbye...
you'll come back when it's over...
now...
when if you are back on track...
it's just a feeling and no one knows yet...
just because they cant feel it too...
does not mean you have to forget...
when you seize that moment...
make it shine...
because you can be more than you can be...

i chose my brightest star...i will tell you if you ask...

time dont wait..

2008-08-08T00:21:00.001-07:00

i have wasted all my time doing nothing good...
i have regreted all....i have done nothing to be proud of...
all i did was let people down,letting God down and letting myself down...
i have wasted my time thinking fo myself....
giving in to pride...
giving in to fear...
i have betrayed myself ...
i have always wanted to join the activities in school
all of it ...
but because of fear i have let go of all the aportunities that would have made me fly..
(i pray that God will forgive my acts and what i have done in my past that he will be with me till the end even if i fail Him,i pray that he will bring a breakthrough in my life,i pray that i will stop my unspeakable actions)
from now on i want to seize every appotunities that is up front of me...
just Lord give me one moment in time to help me to make you proud,help me to soar above the sky to know that i could be more than i could be in You...for you had given me the privilage to become your children...Lord please dun leave me because i had made you angry..dun turn your face away from me...please...

one moment in time

2008-08-08T00:12:00.001-07:00

Each day I live
I want to be a day to give the best of me
I'm only one, but not alone
My finest day is yet unknown
I broke my heart for every gain
To taste the sweet, I faced the pain
I rise and fall,Yet through it all this much remains
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity
I've lived to be the very best
I want it all, no time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance here in my hands
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could beWhen all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel, I will feel eternity
You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will be, I will be, I will be freeI will be, I will be free

as long as you love me

2008-08-07T23:33:00.001-07:00

Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I'm leavin' my life in your hands
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance
And how you got me blind is still a mystery
I can't get you out of my head
Don't care what is written in your history
As long as you're here with me
I don't care who you are
Where you're from
What you did
As long as you love me
Who you are
Where you're from
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me
Every little thing that you have said and done
Feels like it's deep within me
Doesn't really matter if you're on the run
It seems like were meant to be
I don't care who you are
Where you're from
What you didAs long as you love me
Who you are
Where you're from
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me
I'm trying to hide it so that no one knows But I guess it shows When you look into my eyesWhat you did and where you're comin' from I don't care, as long as you love me

july 5...

2008-07-11T00:33:00.000-07:00

July 5
tq every1 for coming to my birthday although it's not free xD
first time i get somany presant ler!!
tqtq for every1 tat gave me present and card + send sms to me on my actual day...
hehe but next time oder less abit lar...
eat untill 1 2 burst d....
sure every1 bcome fat d..hehe joking joking...
tq very much yea,had lots of fun!!